Hi, I am Catherine. I am 17 and currently recovery from anorexia, orthorexia, and anorexia-purge-subtype. But there is so much more to me than that. I am addicted to black coffee and espresso, soup, fuzzy socks, plush blankets, dark chocolate, peanut butter, and books.
Through the eating disorders I completely changed and destroyed my personality and drove many people out of my life. Now I am trying to recreate myself and live according to the man himself, Buddha. I became obsessed with his teachings when I took World Religions with a professor who is now a great friend of mine. I even wrote my midterm paper on the lessons I learned from the eastern traditions and applied them to my life and my eating disorders.
I am totally lost in my life right now. I am going to be a senior next year at an elite high school where everyone is expected to go UVA or NYU or Yale. I kind of just want to go to a small school in the city. Actually I went into the school wanting to go to W&M and become a history professor. But I changed a lot through my eating disorders, and I really crave a more simplistic life now. My ambitions are being healthy, and I don’t believe I can control my anxiety if I am not sleeping, dancing 15 hours a week, crying because I am not good enough for the 16th high school in the nation, and starving myself to death – which is what I’ve been doing. I kind of want to travel the world, study abroad, and be as well-cultured as possible. And then I will probably go to graduates, maybe get my masters in something like Philosophy and Religions or Classical Studies (where there are no jobs)… then I will probably say screw this and open up a cafe/bakery.
I quit dance. That’s a whole ‘nother story. I am much happier now without that stress in my life. My studio was like Dance Moms… except not as good. Now I am doing yoga and focusing on gaining weight and becoming healthy again.
I started this blog on tumblr (www.zenlikebuddha.tumblr.com), because I wanted to connect with other people going through the same thing. Since I am going through self-recovery (no doctors), I found it really hard to find the love and support. But connecting through tumblr and through the internet (as corny as it sounds) helped me build a support group I could have never found where I live. I just want to say how much I love all my followers – on tumblr and wordpress – and that I really couldn’t have done it without you! ❤